Dr. Milton Erickson, one of the greatest hypnotherapist that ever lived-one of the ways he would develop thatrelationship of 'trust' with you, is as you sat down, he would immediately sit in a posture very similar to your own.
He would mirror and begin to bre 323j920d athe at the same pace to which you were breathing. He would use similar tonalities in many cases. This would cause you to feel that he was 'just like you' and create within you a feelingof trust, respect and relaxation.
You can develop rapport with anyone simply by mirroring their tone of voice, their tempo, their timbre. Forexample, if you get around someone who's constantly talking about 'the importance of values' and 'humandevelopment'-if you use those words in talking with them, you're going to develop a certain rapport. You'regoing to have even greater rapport though if you speak in a tone of voice similar to their own. You're going to have even greater levels of rapport if you sit similar to them as well.
When you begin to mirror another individual, you become almost like a biofeedback mechanism to them. Theycreate a movement, you create a similar movement. They use a certain tone of voice, you use a similar tone ofvoice. It's extremely soothing, and it opens people up almost instantaneously.
We also can mirror physiology. You can mirror a person's posture, their muscle tension, or their relaxation; theirfacial expression, amount of eye contact they use. Some people stare at you for very long periods of timedirectly in the eyes. If you don't look back for long periods of time, you lose a certain amount of rapport. Otherpeople, if you stare in their eyes for long periods of time, they don't do that, so you're not like them. So peoplewho do not keep eye contact for a long period of time, who use a brief eye contact-you want to use a brief eyecontact.
You can also notice that people touch, and you can touch similarly. You can notice how close they get to you when they talk, and use the same kind of distance or proximity-mirror proximity as well. There's virtuallyalmost no limit. One of the most powerful things to mirror is breathing. When you breathe like another person, you begin to feelexactly like they feel. But know that there are no limits and that physiology you mirror will develop rapport for youalmost instantaneously.
This also works cross-culturally. Even when you can't speak the language of another individual. If you use thesame physiology, the same tonality in speaking, you can develop rapport in other countries. When you mirror another person's physiology, if you do it accurately enough, you will literally send the samemessages to your brain as that person's sending, and you'll produce the same exact emotional state.
Matching and mirroring is so powerful, because when you begin to use your mind and body the same wayanother person does, you begin to feel the way they feel, you truly develop empathy as well as the connectionof rapport.
Anthony Robbins
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